Looking back, sometimes the past may seem a bit blurry. Trying to recall past events may become harder than anything, and quite possibly it’s for the best. Remembering a smell, a song, a kiss, a feeling, spoken words, or just a look….a specific look leading your racing mind to jump back in time and forgetting the you that is the you right now. These emotional stimuli intertwine with our memories and jolt us back for a moment or four. But not remembering some things, well, I think this mechanism happens by no accident. I think it is our brain’s way of protecting us from harm. Our brain knows that our perception is never really as accurately recorded by us as we would like to think.

So, is it a natural process built inside our minds protecting us from previous injury, or have we just simply grown far from the past and are ready to move forward? We no longer align with what once was, and not by a fractional margin, either. We no longer feel as deeply nor pine so desperately for the agony of loving and being loved. We no longer invite such irrational behavior inside our dome simply for the sake of  test-driving our emotions. Now we just structure our minds to play it safe. We structure our world to catch us when we fall. We build our illusory, present-day world with scraps from our tormented past. Then we wake up in the morning and think, “hey, look at me, I’m moving forward.” But are we? Are we moving forward? They say forward is the only direction even available, but I say life is not simply broken into segments of time. I say life isn’t a simple, three-directional pathway in which forward is the only choice given to us. I say we are given one time and it is the present but a complex notion all the same.

Nevertheless, we build our walls with what tools we have obtained. We nail them together as if we know a tornado might come through any day and demolish our shields. We would build our houses from concrete if it weren’t for the seeping moisture overtaking our air and blocking our sight of the moon. Or do we secretly allow room for just a little torment to re-enter and breeze through our space even if it is just for a moment. Are we just simply suckers for the pain or arrogant for conquer. We are complicated yet simply estimated. So, this rabbit hole never ends until our energy shifts from soul to property. The problem is not within the process, rather it is within the consciousness. The awareness of our motivations and intentions is what makes this whole concept a problem. We can’t lie to ourselves once we become conscious of the truth.

Either way, what are we getting ready for in life? We all seem to have goals and destinations but for what? Where are we going? Why are we going? We should be there already- living presently. But we don’t really know how to do this. We know we want more, but we can’t see past the misery blocking our sight. I guess misery needs some sort of faith for annihilation. I guess misery needs company. I guess misery has it’s way of sneaking up on us in life and stealing our power and replacing it with hope. I guess misery keeps us aspiring. I guess misery is our present and our past is our misery and our future, well, take a guess at who is waiting for us there. So, knowing that what we are working for, we already have, would that change how we live? Better yet, would that change how we don’t live? We are all getting ready to basically go nowhere but where we are. We can be, or we can be, or we can be, but we will never be free to be if we don’t see that we are already free. We are already where we think we are going- We are ready now.




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